Dreams of the Dame

DAMNED! I was a prostitute? :O

Yep a long time since i blogged.

And you know why I'm back.

Lately, I've been ranting about uncivilized humans on the way to work. Little did I realise that there is just one staying in my house all the while.

This morning, I'm woken up by a series of screams because of money I've spent yesterday. Then, uncivilized hurls about my studies and my life has been echoed into my head once again. I could not remember the full episode of nagging and insults because I'm so half awake. However I was sure that there were mentions of 'SPEND SO MUCH MONEY FOR WHAT? YOU THINK YOU MODEL OR PROSTITUTE? NEED SO MUCH MONEY FOR WHAT? YOU STUDY WHAT AH? HAH? YOU PROSTITUTE AH? WHY YOU CANNOT BE LIKE xxx???!! THAT ONE THEN CALL STUDY OK? YOU STUDY WHAT? ALWAYS LOOK LIKE SOME PROSTITUTE OR WHAT. BUY SO MUCH PRODUCTS FOR YOUR LOUSY HAIR FOR WHAT? YOU THINK YOU MODEL MEH? ALWAYS TAKE MY MONEY GO OUT ENTERTAINMENT VERY EASY HOR. NEVER EARN A SINGLE CENT FROM ME STILL TAKE SO MUCH MONEY FROM ME. YOU GOT BOYFRIEND ALREADY STILL PUT SO MUCH MAKE UP FOR WHAT? NOT LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND PAY FOR YOU OR GOT CAR TO GO EVERYWHERE YOU WANT. NEVER PAY FOR YOUR OWN STUDYING AND EARN MONEY FOR YOUR STUDIES STILL WANT TO TAKE MONEY FROM ME @*#(&$*(# (Hurls goes on).

This is so going to be recorded down for future references. In case I need a reason for me to drown her in cash.

1. Okay, so your sterotypical view here is, models and prostitutes are categorized under sluts (from how i interpret these from her, since to her a singer is still a uncivilized job, yeah you can go wtf all you want). So I'd assume because they sell their bodies to achieve their income, and thus it is related to my course because Fashion designing requires sex in order for me to earn my salary. Also, another distinct feature about my course is requiring huge amount of beauty products. It also affects my future salary as well; because without my dose of beauty product, I can't attract my customers. Well done mom.

2. Fashion designing is like a modelling course, you do not need tailoring or artistic skills. You just need to be like a vase and sit there and wait for someone to come out a collection miraculously. Oh I forgot to include, you can sell sex by being a vase! Awesome! I'm totally fired up!

3. Guess what, I drink, smoke and go clubbing all night long! My boyfriend is a loser who also does drugs with me and has sex all day. I haven't been working since I started school, all I did was to take money from my mother and use them on my favorite hard liqour. Oh and and! I even escape from home because my mother does not want to give me money Hehe!

4. Told ya, my boyfriend is a homie and does drugs for his income. I'm also doing prostitution so why the fuss about him paying for me? Oh I remembered its something to do with your busniess aye?

If you still can't figure out the sarcasm above, this is just a gentle reminder for you to head to the off direction I would like you to fuck to.

Can't wait for my scholarship interview from school.

R.I.P, my dear

Have you experienced waking up, learning that your blanket is stained with blood? Then you realise there is this grey creature lying motionlessly within the blanket?

That happened to me around 10am in the morning.

I was really tired. I haven't been sleeping well yesterday night. It was time for bed around 1am in the morning but little bucks was still quite active. I thought it was normal for her to shed because she did this every month. So to prevent her from getting Furball, i took out all the fur from her mouth and threw it away. Half-heartedly, I knew it could be the sign of pregnancy. But due to the previous sexual intercourse, we predicted it to be last month's end. But there were no signs of any babies born. So we thought since this is the first time done by an inexperience buck, it could be a miss. So we overlooked it.

Last night around 2am, i was awoken by the active bucks. I mean, all along she has been very active. So i thought she was being naughty, I carried her into her cage. I din't have the cage secured totally.

Then an hour later, I could hear the rattle of the cage. She was desperately trying to open up the lid (located at the top). She was very nervous and leaped to my bed running around. So i thought she was trying to get me up to pay her some attention. So i did, I carried her to my side and lay down, slowly stroking her head saying "it's okay, it's okay". I have no idea she is pregnant by the way. So as I was stroking, I fell asleep.

She gently bit me again. I woke and half asleep, I stroked her head. She remained clam..and I fell asleep again.

It was until around 7am my mom came in to switch off my air-con. My mother(as usual) was saying how naughty bucks was. Lately bucks has been very defensive but we thought it was just her jealous of Mr.Kopi-o. So I left her on my bed and slept. My mom told me Bucks ran over to my brother's room (where the buck was located). So i carried her over. She was struggling very badly. I carried her to my bed and we slept together. She struggled again. So i left her alone, thinking that she might be annoyed with me. Until I woke up, I saw the blanket stained with blood.

I was horrified, even more terrified to see her fetus lying motionlessly, still with a little bit of warmth. However, there was no breathing. no motion, no heartbeat. Nothing. I cried because I was in the loss of don't know what the fuck I should do. Smsed Leon and told him.

He called up to ask what was happening after I woke my brother. He told me all the possible reasons it died. Looked up for more information later on and realise there is away could be revived. However, it's too late. The body has turned ice cold though i wrapped it in my blanket.

Dear little one,

I'm sorry i couldn't save you. I could have crushed you when I was sleeping but it was done unintentionally, really. If I've been more alert, I would have saved you from being trampled by your mom or other possible reasons you died from. Though you don't have the chance to see me, but we love you. We really do. Hope you're doing well in your bunny heaven, visit us in our dreams if you could.

R.I.P little one
10/07/2012

Love,
us.

I wanna..

Picasso

Demon's heaven

And so I heard

p/s i sew those pearls on that top myself.

10 things my love gave to me

1. A recent catch; baby shiba donuts cushion

2. $1 pikachu catch

3. First catch from love

4. Couple watch brought from G-marcket (used to be)

5. First birthday present from love

6. 18th birthday gift. Made from duct tapes, in which the sharp tips made his fingers went numb =\

7. Another catch with only $2 ( I think)

8. Perlini's Siver bracelet for my first birthday. I broke it because it was too fragile sorry T_T!

9. A pair of earrings for our first anniversary.

10. Our first couple rings, I dropped mine though :\

Bunnies

Moar

I promise i will blog tomorrow.

I still couldn't figure out what I'm interested in.

Either that, or it's just things that people doesn't want to make me interested in.

Or it's just my sloth.

I'm tired of not being myself, feeling restricted from many things.

I've realised that I'm thinking about irony complications of certain things, then my head start to throb, my body starts to fail me, becoming physically and mentally tired.

I know it's stupid.

But who can i choose to talk to?

Maybe a chat with my other self, in silence.

Mysterious Italy (unfinished 12/12/11)

Behold, the streets of Verona in Italy!

Just look at these pastries gosh!

The entrance the dirtiest housing in Verona;legendary ROMEO AND JULIET'S balcony! Though the story's quite a fiction, the Capulet noble family and Montague's nobles hatred does exists.

*baby, next time lets come to vandalize the walls too :x